A SHORT INTRODUCTION TO COMPASSION PRACTICE, HOW WE CAN USE IT TO DEVELOP OUR SENSE OF COMPASSION AND BE MORE COMPASSIONATE IN OUR LIVES.
Definition.
Compassion can be defined as the ability to recognise the suffering of others and take action to help. It is a tangible expression of love for those who are suffering that motivates people to go out of their way to relieve the physical, mental, or emotional pains of others and themselves.
It can be said that there are 5 stages involved in being compassionate: –
1) Recognising suffering (in ourselves as well as others)
2) Understanding the universality of suffering in human experience
3) Feeling moved by the person suffering and emotionally connecting with their distress and our own responses.
4) Acknowledging uncomfortable feelings aroused (e.g., fear, distress) so that we remain open to and accepting of suffering
5) Acting or being motivated to act to alleviate suffering.
Introduction.
Compassion can be experienced and practised in many ways and at many levels. For the purposes of our current practice, we can conveniently consider it as existing at 3 levels: –
Level 1 – the first level is about beings suffering in the ordinary sense through the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”. In other words, it concerns the vulnerability of all human beings to the events of life and the shifts of fortune that can occur to anyone anywhere at any time.
Level 2 – in this level we view the suffering of beings through the acknowledgement of impermanence. Knowing that all things are impermanent, that all beings are mortal and that suffering itself is constantly changing, we cultivate the feelings of connection and lack of separation between ourselves and other beings. Feeling into the present moment of suffering and with the understanding that everything is constantly changing we bring kindness, caring and love to bear and help the mind to release the tendency to cling to ideas of permanence.
Level 3 – the third level begins with the realisation of the lack of independent existence of ourselves and all other beings. Together with a feeling of connection and lack of separation between ourselves and others there develops a sense of the transparent nature of a body that is part of nature and ultimately part of the universe. This view, together with the nature of impermanence, helps us to break down the habitual view of others as being solid and “real” so when there is suffering compassion is not so much directed at the individual but more at the moments of suffering in the mind. Viewed in this way the sense of self and others is dissolved and moments of suffering are seen as ownerless, just floating alone in space and therefore deserving of care and compassion.
SESSION 1 – COMPASSION AS AN ATTITUDE OF MIND.
Connecting with our innate sense of kindness, caring, love and compassion.
At this first level of compassion practice, we often use the term ‘loving kindness’ that describes a friendly, open-hearted warmth that is a universal human quality. Loving kindness is a capacity we all contain which can be encouraged and generated. Mindfulness and loving kindness represent the meeting of ourselves and our experience with kindness. In other words, we practice mindfulness to welcome and befriend our experience whatever it may be. We could say that practicing mindfulness in itself is an act of loving kindness.
Loving-kindness practice goes beyond ourselves and our loved ones. It includes those we do not know very well and those we have not met. It also includes those people whom we do not like including those we find difficult in one way or another and perhaps even those who we regard as enemies. Loving kindness has no bounds and can reach out to all living beings, all life and even the planet itself. It arises from the recognition that all living beings desire happiness and wellbeing, and wish to be free from suffering and its causes. Through practicing loving kindness, we touch the sense of shared humanity in all living beings.
Loving kindness is the recognition that we are all inter-connected. We feel when others are suffering and we empathise. We also feel when others are happy and we can celebrate the good fortune of others. In practicing loving kindness, we lose a sense of our own separateness and exclusive preoccupation with our own personal concerns. The practice of loving kindness is a journey of expanding the boundaries of our loving concerns in ever-widening circles. It is also a deepening of the journey of meeting ourselves more fully, enabling us to accept ourselves just as we are with our best interests at heart, not in an egotistical or selfish manner, but through complete and friendly acceptance. This is the potential of the human heart: a love and kindness that is boundless, tolerant and knowing. That potential is already there in all of us, although often shrouded by the limited concerns and preoccupations of our everyday lives. The more we practise it the easier it becomes.
Practice 1 – Feeling kindness and caring.
How does it feel to be kind to others and how does it feel when others are kind to us? Allowing those feelings to grow develop within us so that our motivation to help others increases.
6WAYS TO BE HAPPIER AND MORE COMPASSIONATE
Practice 2 – Directing love and compassion (metta practice).
Directing compassion towards others – close friend, acquaintance, a neutral person, a person who we find difficult and lastly, ourselves.
For some people the last stage of this practice, generating loving kindness towards yourself, can be the most difficult stage. They may accept the notion of kindness to others, but struggle with the idea of extending this to themselves perhaps due to feelings of low self-esteem and conditioned attitudes of not-deserving or self-sacrificing. In mindfulness practice we say that “charity has to begin at home” and that we will be limited in our ability to develop qualities of loving kindness for others if we can’t feel them for ourselves. If we maintain the separation between ourselves and others, applying different rules to each, then we are still practicing discrimination and unkindness.
It can sometimes help if we begin by bringing to mind someone who has loved and cherished us unconditionally in our lives. In other words, someone who has loved us simply for who we are. This may be someone who is still around in our lives, someone who is no longer with us or may even be a pet dog or cat. If no-one comes to mind, we can try to foster the feelings of what it is like to feel loved in this way and to receive loving kindness from another. We can then let go of the source of this loving kindness and practise directing those same feelings to ourselves. Sometimes picturing ourselves as a young child can help to allow the feelings of loving kindness to flow more easily.
Metta meditation (Loving kindness and compassion)
SESSION 2 – COMPASSION AS AN ACTIVE PROCESS IN OUR DAILY LIVES.
How compassion can help us to be more constructive in our relationships and dealings with others.
Compassion is the ability to ‘hold’ one’s experience with an attitude of kindness and warmth, in which there is both the understanding of what is going on and a willingness to experience things as they are. Compassion for oneself then spontaneously expands to include others in ever increasing circles. As we develop our compassion practice, we realise that it is a call to action, that it is impossible to practise compassion without taking action to relieve the suffering of others and of ourselves. The action that we take does not have to be expensive or dramatic, just adopting a more friendly and open attitude towards others will help you and those with whom you are in contact feel happier. Offering a helping hand to someone, picking up a piece of litter in the streets, volunteering for charitable work or just giving will all help to make the world a happier place for everyone. Seemingly small positive acts can have a huge effect. What’s important is that we do something.
Practice 1 – Self-compassion
Regarding oneself as being human with all the difficulties that are experienced by every human being and learning to be compassionate towards our self-critic.
Practice 2 – Taking and sending (tonglen).
Opening our hearts to suffering and using the breath to acknowledge suffering and send out relief to everyone including ourselves.
Meditations – Compassion (including tonglen).
SESSION 3 – COMPASSION AND THE REALITY OF NO SEPARATION.
How compassion can reduce the sense of separation and isolation in our lives.
How compassion is enhanced by a sense of inter-connectedness with all other beings.
A brief word about separation and connectedness. As individuals we are conditioned by our relationships with other people, by the events of our lives, by our social status and cultural background. What we are in effect is a collection of thoughts and feelings that we have been conditioned to believe forms a permanent me separate and distinct from everyone and everything else. As we progress in meditation practice, we begin to find that everything that we experience – our thoughts, feelings, emotions, for example – appear in the moment depending on the things that are arising and happening for us in that moment. Even the processes of the mind and the awareness in which we practise to rest are entirely dependent on the things that are arising in the moment. Everything appears in the moment depending on all other things. Examining this in detail, we find that all beings only exist in relation to all other beings and are dependent on them. Everything is interconnected and all beings and things continually arise and cease because other beings and things are continually arising and ceasing.
This is often illustrated by likening us to the waves on the sea. We are a phenomenon just as a wave is a phenomenon of the sea. Although a wave is regarded as a distinct phenomenon it cannot be separated from the sea. When conditions such as winds or tides cause a wave, nothing is added to the sea. When the activity of a wave ceases, nothing is taken away from the sea. A wave appears in the moment because of causes and conditions, and disappears because of other causes and conditions. We, and all things, are like waves on the sea and there can be no separation between us and all other things.
Practice 1 – Seeing life as a whole
Recognising the interconnectedness of all life and the lack of separation between ourselves and others. Realising how this enhances our sense of compassion towards all beings and calls us to action.
Practice 2 – The fleeting nature of existence.
Feeling compassion for all life because of the fleeting nature of existence and the impermanence of all things. It is as if we are directing compassion to something that is fleeting in nature like a flickering candle or a reflection of the moon on rippling water. This not only causes compassion to arise because we may have an intuitive view of that which is fleeting as being somehow worthy or because the perception of those whose nature is fleeting is lightened allowing love and compassion to arise naturally.
SESSION 4 – COMPASSION AS A MANIFESTATION OF BEING.
How compassion can be experienced as an innate quality of being.
We all have the capacity to develop wisdom and compassion and free ourselves from selfishness, greed, and hatred. Some would say that the basic nature or essence of being human is compassion. Suffice it to say for our purposes that we can connect with and develop the sense of compassion that lies within us such that it becomes our natural way of being. We would not be able to do this if compassion was not innate with us to some extent and whether we view our practice as developing a highly positive trait or allowing something that is already there to be expressed the end point is the same – a better world.
Practice 1 – Deep compassion.
Experiencing the compassion that lies deep in our consciousness. Feeling the compassion that arises as we look more deeply into our minds.
Practice 2 – The essential essence of being.
Compassion as the essence of being.
Please also have a look at the following link: –
Peter Wilkes 26th April 2023.
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